Sunday, May 31, 2009

Princess Leia

Princess Leia in a slave outfit has been every geek's fantasy for years. What better way to dream of the kind of woman you'll never have than to get her tattooed on your arm, slimy giant slug and all.

Yeah sirree, that's might hot.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

NSFW - Futanari

"Dude why do you have dicks tattooed on you?!"
"Dude they're chicks."
"Dude you're still gay."

Friday, May 29, 2009

Smiling Zombie

Yet another reason why realistic portraits of people should only be done by the really, really skilled. It's just not a good idea people.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ink Raider

While I have to say that pretty much everyone has a boner for Lara Croft, this is the least sexy depiction of her I have ever seen.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Your Mom Here

While I'm just as guilting as spouting off a "YOUR MOM" at opportune times as the average 15 year old boy, I can proudly say that I keep my damn mouth shut in some situations. But if you can't keep your damn mouth shut, or you just don't think your voice alone really conveys the sting that is insulting someone's mother.... well then these tattoos are for you.

If ever confronted with either of these, my suggestion is to frown, let your eyes water a little and say, "My mom passed away last week." The ensuing rush of guilt should wash the asshole out of your path.

Then of course, there's the more graphic version.

And to all you motherfuckers out there who don't give a damn about the vagina that brought you into the world.... they hit home with a much more direct message....

Not really sure how to follow up this gem. Except that to say that thank god these kind of people come with warning labels now.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


In ten or twenty years, there will be some new overrated children's tales sensation sweeping the globe, and you will still have the bastard child of Harry Potter and some indefinite anime blazoned on your flesh.

Monday, May 25, 2009


Nothing like a gigantically unattractive technicolor tattoo to ruin a great pair of boobs.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Choked Chicken

Why is that rooster in a noose? Is he strangle -- ohhhhh I get.

Ha....ha.ha. While pun tattoos are kind of cute, the half a second in which you get the pun and then laugh is definitely not worth. And maybe this is just me, but I wouldn't really WANT to advertise the fact that I was a wanker.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Boo Yab Yab Ptth

While I try to steer away from mere bad quality tattoos to ones that are amusingly stupid, this one deserves a place among the most epic of poorly done tattoos.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Yes, But Did You Eat the Worm?

I can only hope this tattoo was received under the influence of tequila.

Another Bad Tattoo Blog

While perusing the Interwebs for more shitty tattoos to gather round and present here, I came across another bad-tattoo blog, though most of the posts seem to have been posted on the same day, and hasn't updated in about half a year. Most of the tattoos here I already had, either in my blog already or in the folder waiting to be posted. (At this point I have enough tattoos to continue this blog for a year without ever searching again. :D)

But anyways, I'll post a link here, and I'll definitely be using some of these gems later on.
Crappy Tattoos

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Smart Ass

While I can't say I have much respect for Dr Phil, OR that I would want a tattoo of him, I can say that if forced to get a tattoo of him, I would probably put it on my ass too.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Sad People

While the Indians are indeed a sad, much-put upon people, next only to the Jews, it seems like getting a tattoo to commemorate them isn't the best idea. Especially if you go to this certain tattoo artist, in which case you're just giving these poor indigenous people one more thing to be sad about.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Don't get me wrong, I play DnD myself. I can appreciate the raw power of a natural twenty. But rolling a twenty doesn't mean courage. It means luck. Or loaded dice. Also, while I am proud of my geek heritage, I'm not sure I'd want it permanently affixed to my skin.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Chicken Run

While I heartily approve of anything by the genius makers of Wallace and Gromit, I can't say I approve of this tattoo.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

He Hulk

In the words of Paris Hilton..... "that's hot."

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wouldn't You Like to be A Pepper Too?

Continuing with the theme of memes, like
this classic
, is internet superstar Brian Peppers. For those unfamiliar with the Mister Pepper, he is a convicted sex offender in Ohio, and debunked a myth doubting his very existence. But he does exist. And to commemorate this paragon of internet notoriety, why not permanently affix him to your back? What better way to honor a sex offender than to make everyone who sees you shirtless feel violated?

The original Brian Peppers:

The permanent tribute:

To learn more about Mr. Peppers, click on the Snopes page here:

Friday, May 15, 2009

Fly Like an Eagle

I don't know if the eagle is supposed to be taking a shit on the swastika or if he's embracing it with his talons. Either way, the quality and meaning of this tattoo are neck and neck in the race to suck.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Swayze

When I think of Patrick Swayze, putting him on a horse's body is the first thing *I* think of. Oh, and some rainbows for good measure.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Two For One

There's no better way to proclaim your faith than by getting a tattoo of christ. Then, say you want to show your support for people afflicted with Down Syndrome. I know! Combine the two! Perfect!

I give you... Retard Jesus:

Monday, May 11, 2009

Hear Me Roar

"I want a tattoo that shows how bad-ass I am. Something fierce."

"How about a panther? Nothing says ferocious like a panther."

"Yeah... bad ass!"

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Nifty Fifty....One

Today marks the 51st tattoo on my blog. :) I tried to find a good "50" themed tattoo but this was all I could find, so.... Happy 51st, Tattoo Tavesties!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Turd Burgler

One subject that I think doesn't get enough face time, is the subject of feces theft. Everyone knows about it, but no one wants to talk about it. Well... it's a real issue, a serious issue, and I think it's time we all stopped pretending it didn't exist. This guy decided to call out the elephant in the room, and get this tattoo as a warning to all. Stop turd burgling today.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Ass Rack

That's hot, brother.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Baby on Board

This'll be funny for about 4 more months, and then you're just going to look like an idiot. Unless you're not pregnant, just fat, and you're using the tattoo as an excuse. Or, you're Catholic, so in 6 months it'll make sense again.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

NSFW - I <3

I don't know what's worse, the disgustingly over-exaggerated blue vein or the mysterious yellow discharge. I'm assuming this guy either got drunk with some really bad friends, or lost a bet.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Holy Shit, Batman.

I'm all for Freedom of Religion. Freedom of Tattoos? Not so much.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Judge Judy

While this guy will only allow God to juge him, this person has a little more humble view on things. He's not afraid to allow himself to be juged by earthly vessels. But only this one.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

NSFW - Vagina Power

As a woman, I can say I'm fairly proud of my vagina. I mean, it's served me well so far. But I can't say that I'm proud enough of my reproductive system to get it tattooed on my stomach. However, this lady apparently is. More power to your ovaries, sister?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

NSFW - 2 Girls 1 Cup

By now I'm pretty sure everyone has seen the disgusting internet meme, 2 girls 1 cup. If you haven't, it involves girl eating feces. That's about all you need to know. But it has quite a bit of notoriety and fame across the internets.

The only logical thing to do, of course, is get a tattoo commemorating this classic.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Mer-man! (koff, koff) Mer-MAN!

I can think of no better way to express your fascination with the ocean and phalluses than with this tasteful and well done tatoo.